The manager of the New Jersey Bobcats (soon to be New York Force) has been named...."Walter".
PRESS CONFERENCE:
An old sour looking man approaches the podium. There is applause.
Walter: "Oh, shut the hell up!"
Reporter: "What's wrong? Aren't you glad to be in New York?"
Walter: "Oh sure, until I get mugged."
Rep: "We've all been looking for some kind of information on you but there isn't anything."
Walt: "Good, you should mind your own damned business."
Rep: "You don't seem to have a last name."
Walt: "The IRS is looking for me."
Rep: "Why would the owner of the club, ZEKE, hire you. You have no previous baseball experience!"
Walt: "Oh yes I do....I'm made of wood."
Rep: "Who's the guy holding you up to the podium?"
Walt: "Oh, he's just my associate. Let's just call him Jeff."
Rep: "What does Jeff do?"
Walt: "He holds me up to the podium! Dumbass."
Rep: "Do you have a wife?"
Walt: "Yes" (frown)
Rep: "Is she having a good time in the big city?"
Walt: "She always has a good time.....dammit."
Rep: "Was that her on the phone just before this press conferance?"
Walt: "Yea, we got into an arguement and I hung up on her."
Rep: "What did she do?"
Walt: "She called me back and asked me if I hung up on her."
Rep: "What did you say?"
Walt: "I said to her I don't know, did it sound something like this....click."
Laughter from the crowd
Walt: "Oh, quiet down. Dumbasses."
Rep: "What are your plans for the team?"
Walt: "This team sucks. I'm going to try and make it suck less."
Rep: "Do you think more fans will come out to watch?"
Walt: "They spend money on high ticket prices, toll costs, parking, food and souveniers to watch a bunch of grown men play a child's game? They're a bunch of dumbasses is what they are!"
Reporter stands up and begins to leave the room
Walt: "Hey you, where the hell do you think you're going?"
Rep: "I've to to go to the bathroom."
Walt: "Just hold it. I do."
Rep: "I'm leaving."
Walt: "Ok, we'll just wait."
Walter sits quietly and....waits.
Walt: "Hey Jeff, do you think he can hear us in there?"
Jeff: "Probably"
Walt: "Hey dumbass! Is it difficult to go when we're all waiting for you?"
Reporter finally comes back.
Walt: "Did you hear me when you were in there?"
Rep: "No."
Walt: "Well, we could hear you....and you didn't wash your hands!"
Reporter looks embarrased.
Walt: "Dumbass."
Cliff Zier